Roadside detritus

July 19, Carbondale, IL

Having pedaled through eight states now, I’ve made some observations about roadside detritus:

1. A hell of a lot of animals are killed by vehicles. The largest I’ve seen have been deer, the smallest butterflies and bugs. In between have been a coyote, dogs, cats, rabbits, opossums, two badgers, squirrels, skunks, raccoons, prairie dogs, snakes of various lengths, an uncountable number and variety of birds, and surprising numbers of frogs, turtles and armadillos in Kansas. The armadillos have continued into MO and IL. Given the death I’ve seen it’s amazing that any wildlife still exists. However, I’ve seen more deer bound away at my approach than lie dead roadside. The only death I’ve witnessed was an SUV making no effort to avoid hitting an armadillo.

2. Missouri has the dirtiest roadsides with Illinois a close second. All the other states are virtually pristine. Should Kentucky or Virginia fail the pristine test I’ll make note. The MO and IL trash is typical—cans, plastic cups, take-out bags, beer cartons, etc. Each state has an “Adopt-a-mile” program but it appears that some states are better at instituting it than others.

3. I’m thinking of opening Mike’s Bungy Store when I get home. While I’ve picked up a few, I’ve passed scores and scores of them on roadsides. The pickings are so plentiful that I’ve become very selective in the ones that will continue with me the rest of the way. Only the best and least marred will do. The one exception is the one that I picked up as I entered Yellowstone National Park, the one that still holds up my biking shorts. A word to other bungy hunters: Stay away from the flat black ones with the wide head that holds an S hook. Time after time I’ve seen them with one head ripped off. Must be a flaw in the basic design. Stay with the original multi-band design.

4. Clothes seem to be a favorite item to fling out of a vehicle. I’ve seen every item a human being wears from underwear to coats lying beside the road. There’s also the occasional pillow, sheet and blanket. Some of the stuff is in fine shape. I found a perfect pair of Levis, in my size, in Wyoming. (No, kids, I didn’t pick them up.) As I pedal on I can’t help but wonder why the clothes got there. Sucked out by some Venturi effect in the vehicle? But that would mean the clothes were off the individual. Hmm? What was going on in there? Someone doing an in-car strip? Maybe to moon an on-coming car? What else can one think when the roadside is littered with a t-shirt, then a bra, then shorts and finally panties? What about that bag of clothes roadside? Did some sort of fight take place in that car and she said, “Get out of the car. I don’t ever want to see you again and take your smelly clothes with you.” Such are the thoughts that go through one’s mind as you make your feet go in endless little circles for 60-70 miles a day.